Pray the Gay Away
by MissButterflyChick
Summary: Alfred, a confused teen opts to go to a special camp in hopes of being "cured." He doesn't find what he wants, but he gets what he needs.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or all of my OTPs would be canon. **

**Contains Some Language, Sexual Themes, religious themes, But No actual Sex, probably.**

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Alfred was scared. He'd never been so worried in his life, nor so ashamed. He sat in the back seat of the family's blue sedan staring at his hands folded in his lap. His parents said nothing, staring blankly out the windshield not chancing to look back at him. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe the problem would just go away. All Alfred knew was that he was going to a camp for boys like him. St. Levi's Center of Counsel for Boys. Though many people called it by other names, most of which were not polite, Alfred called it "Camp Pray-The-Gay-Away." He had willingly submitted himself for the Camp's therapy program, hoping and praying to God that he could be Cured. The Camp was highly publicized, and considered the best in the world for this sort of problem, so many kids from all over the world were admitted. As a matter of fact, Alfred's brother Mathew was taken to camp earlier that summer, though not as willingly.

Another reason, as if he needed any more, that he was worried was Mathew's reaction. It had been Alfred who ratted out Matt to their parents after he accidentally walked in on him masturbating to what turned out to be pornographic material not of a heterosexual nature. His parents hadn't taken that well. Alfred came from an ultra conservative and zealously religious family. There had been so much arguing and shouting and horrible name calling that ended in Mathew almost getting kicked out of the house, until Alfred saved him by suggesting sending his brother to a camp so that he could be healed of his filthy ways. That night, Alfred overheard his parents talking about how they "still had another" and that Alfred "was always the good child anyway." That was both bull and something to make him feel worse. Mathew always got As and did what he was told, whereas Alfred was the rebel who always did as he pleased whenever it suited him. Now, even as "the good child" he was letting them down further.

Alfred himself was unaware of his own feelings. He had never really been "into" girls, saying that sports came first or that he was too busy hanging out with his friends. It wasn't until recently that a trip to the Gym became note-worthy to him. He was in the locker room as usual, changing to go home when he caught himself _staring_. At first he had brushed it off as just zoning out, but he found himself with strange new thoughts. How muscles under the skin rolled while being stretched…it was…beautiful? Did that word apply? No. Alfred couldn't let himself think like that, he wasn't a… well, he didn't… He was blushing to his ears, so he quickly finished changing and left. Though he ended up thinking about it all day, among other things, wondering if that was how Mathew had felt, "No, that's different." He thought to himself. He refused to think anything else.

Until the dreams started. That's when Alfred started panicking. It wasn't so much about what he dreamt of, as much as how much he liked the images flickering around in his head. It would start out as nothing out of the ordinary, like watching football with a friend, and then would take a dramatic turn. One was when he had just won a football game for his team and suddenly he was in the locker room, naked as he was pressed into the cold metal, and passionately making out with a teammate. Alfred refused to think about the specifics, but he couldn't ignore how dreams like that made him feel. And it scared him.

He began trying to prove to himself that he couldn't be gay. He was Manly, he was straight! But…it didn't seem to matter. He could be as masculine as humanly possible, but it wouldn't make the strange thoughts go away. So he tried to conjure up new thoughts of him with girls. Beautiful girls with big boobs. It didn't work, he just couldn't find it quite as appealing for some reason. With his trusty laptop, he looked up images of all types of women in what were supposed to be alluring and erotic states and doing lewd activities. These were supposed to turn him on, but in reality it kind of grossed him out a little. He finally struck out when he convinced this girl he knew liked him to go on a date with him. She was pretty, he supposed, with medium length blonde hair, big blue eyes, same shade as his, and a rather large rack. She had a similar sense of humor. He took her back to her place (her parents were out) and then…well things just didn't work out. He tried, but he just couldn't…well…let's just say they didn't make it all the way. Anyway, kissing felt all wrong too. And he wasn't sure what to do with her boobs, if anything, they were in the way, he thought. At least she was very polite about it. She promised not to tell anyone, and didn't make one remark about it, but it was clear she was a bit disappointed.

Maybe he was sick. That had to be it! He was sick and it would go away. He blamed Mathew for this, not that he'd done it on purpose, but it had somehow rubbed off on him and now he was sick like Mathew. When the feelings didn't go away as quick as he'd like them to, he began to think that maybe if Mathew made him…whatever this is…that if he went to the camp Mathew did, he could be cured too!

There was the problem of Mathew again, though. Would he be grateful to Alfred for saving him? Or would he be pissed that Alfred had humiliated him? Maybe Matt would just be happy to see him; after all, campers were not allowed visitors, so Alfred hadn't seen his brother in the last five or six weeks. The trip took much less time than it should, but the silence made it feel much longer anyway. The Jones family finally pulled up to the Gates of St. Levi's for the second time.

They were met at the door by a few staff members, who took Alfred's luggage to the room he'd be sharing with someone else, and led them to an office where Alfred was placed in a chair in front of the large polished desk. After waiting what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes, a man with short black hair and a small mustache led a very confused looking Mathew into the room, then took his spot on the other side of the desk. Mathew looked at Alfred in bewilderment, before registering the fear on his brother's face, and quickly went to hug him. "Oh Alfred," Mathew sighed, "welcome to Hell."

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**A.N. Because this is following Alfred and from his point of view, I write in his current opinion. That means that if I say something is Bad or Evil, that is not my actual opinion, And Alfred's opinion is subject to change maybe. There will be several Character pairings in the upcoming chapters, **

**Please Review!**

**Criticism is accepted, but no flames please. If you think the rating needs to change, please let me know. I'm trying to keep it T, for language and Adult situations that are not explicit. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia….This sentence is extraneous, because I do not.

Chapter 2

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Alfred could only be pleased the Mathew did not try to hit him. His salutation, albeit unnerving, was warm and genuine. His brother's facial expression could definitely be considered bittersweet, however, as he pulled back from the hug. Mathew turned to greet his parents, but they refused to look at him, pretending he was little more than a ghost in the room.

"Williams, we do not talk that way." The man behind the desk scolded, bringing Alfred's attention back to him. The man had an odd look about him, Alfred thought, like he was a turtle without a shell. His head was very round, but his body very slim. His shiny black hair was pasted to his scalp with some kind of product, making it look like a skull cap. Alfred briefly wondered if it was a Toupee. "Mr. Jones, I am Head Councilor Histor. I am in charge this facility, and you would do well to remember that. Now, I must consult with your parents as we have much paperwork to fill out. Williams will give you a tour of the facility and report back here in an hour. Is that clear?" So much for a turtle, this man seemed harder than any shell Alfred knew of. He thought again; a Vulture maybe? His eyes seemed like it. They were light gray, but were like Ice, without the blue. "Yes, sir!" Alfred responded, and bit back the impulse to salute. After a second or two of standing there, a tug on his shirt snapped him from his daze, and Mathew led him out the door, closing it heavily behind them.

Alfred turned to look at his brother, but he had already taken off down the hallway. "Matt, wait!" He called and jogged to catch up. "I got to tell you, I'm-" "I know, Alfred." Mathew interjected. "No I'm trying to say I'm sorr-" "I _know_ Alfred, but I'm not sure whether I forgive you yet. I kind of understand, it's just…I don't know, the whole thing makes me sad, I guess." Mathew sighed, "Well, I think this is making more sense now, at least. Why are you here?" he asked. "I… I mean, well, I…" Alfred sighed, "Isn't it obvious? If I'm here, that can only mean one thing." Alfred hinged, ashamed to say it out loud. Mathew laughed lightly. "That's not what I meant, Al. I'm actually not shocked you're here, It's just I meant why did you come? Did they…catch you doing something? Or-" "No." Alfred defended, "It's not like that, and what do you mean 'not shocked'?"

Mathew thought for a second. "You remember that Ukrainian girl from school? Yekaterina?" Matt asked. "Yeah, Silver hair, right?" Alfred puzzled, what did she have to do with anything, he hardly knew her. "That's what I mean. Her identifier is definitely not 'Silver hair'," he said matter of factly. Alfred was still lost. "What do you mean?" "If you were straight, and as tactless as you always have been, you would have said something like, 'The one with the Huge Rack' or something." Matt giggled. "You just never seemed to notice girls. I wasn't sure, but I did wonder…Anyway, you didn't answer my question."

Alfred didn't really know what to say to him. He didn't really want to talk about…that, but, "I need to be here so I can get better. I don't want to be like this, so- Matt?" He turned around to see that he had left his brother, with a truly confused look on his face, standing a few steps behind. "Alfred…Are you saying you want to be here? You think you can 'fix' it? Oh Alfred. You're in for a rough road ahead." Mathew said sympathetically. "I get that you don't want to be here, but you want to get better, right?" Alfred asked. "Alfred F. Jones. There's nothing wrong with me. Yes, I wish I could like girls, it would make life so much easier, but it's not like it's a choice! Alfred you are who you are, there's nothing wrong with you. I don't want to argue this, you'll see later. This is the Cafeteria."

Alfred almost ran into the door, not paying attention to where they were going. He was shocked by what Matt said, but was instantly caught by the prospect of food. He hadn't eaten since the snacks he had in the car, but that was like two hours ago! They entered in the large room scattered with tables and chairs, and a few people around that seemed to just be hanging out. Voices caught his attention though, as most of the people instantly greeted Mathew and inquired about the new guy with him. "Mon cher!" A blonde boy with long silky locks came striding over, was he swishing his hips as he walked? He and Mathew kissed on both cheeks, and Mathew introduced Alfred to his friend. "My name is Francis, I am sure you will not forget it." He purred, kissing Alfred's hand, before he roughly pulled it away. He did not feel comfortable with the greeting. Mathew just giggled at the action. Since when did his brother giggle so much? Mathew chatted with a few other people before they went on with their tour. Since when was his brother so happy? Alfred always knew Mathew didn't have many friends, but here he seemed much liked, and dare he say, popular?

They passed through the area Mathew called "Hobby Hell," which looked like a classroom, maybe for a shop class, Alfred assumed it to be a place where they could learn to make things, like arts and crafts at a real camp. Then the pair went through a grassy field Matt said was for team sports, whenever they decided to get a game going. Behind that was a building Matt didn't go to, but he explained that it was a gym. Alfred was excited, and wanted to see, but Mathew reminded him they were to be back at the office soon. "Remind me to show you my room later," Matt said, "It's just like all the other rooms, but smaller, since I don't have a roommate." He looked quite smug about this, and Alfred supposed that not having a roommate must be rare here, meant for special people, perhaps? "Why do you get your own room?" Alfred asked. Mathew blushed. "I'll tell you later." He replied, and no more was said until they made it back to the head office.

Alfred had expected his parents to be there still, since they hadn't said Goodbye or anything, but he was left to be disappointed as they were nowhere to be seen. Matt seemed to have noticed, too, and frowned at the absence. The man from before was still there though. "How's it going, Mister Histor?" Alfred greeted, shooting a smile trying to be friendly, however the black haired man did not seem to be in a friendly sort of manner, as all he did was glare at Alfred before he spoke, "Williams, you may wait for your brother in the hall if you'd like; It's time to have a word with Jones." Mathew left the room quickly, not keen on being there, it seemed, and as the doors shut behind him, Alfred suddenly felt apprehension riddle its way through his body as the room turned to ice. He turned to see Councilor Histor back behind the polished desk, fingers laced menacingly below his chin, while above a stern frown hung below the small mustache. Alfred hated the bit of facial hair, he thought it looked ridiculous on the man and was too short on the sides to be a proper mustache, but he didn't know what else to call it. It almost brought humor into what Alfred figured was a daunting situation.

"Jones," he began in a softer tone than Alfred was expecting, "Your parents have informed me that coming here was your choice. That puts you at an advantage to many other residents of this facility. The first step, as they say, is to admit that you have a problem. I am quite confident that through counseling and therapy in our Wellness Program you will be successful in ridding yourself of your problem. Right now you are confused, and have strayed from the right path. We can help you through this phase if you'll let us. We can help fix you. Do you understand?" Alfred's reaction to this little speech was mainly relief. That was what Alfred wanted. That was what he was hoping for. Maybe this man wasn't as bad as he had initially thought. "Yes, sir," he replied gratefully.

"Wonderful. Now, let me give you your schedule and an official copy of the rules. Please read them in full later. If you are in violation of any of them, ignorance will not be justifiable. Rule breaking Will result in punishment." he warned. He gave Alfred a small folder of papers, and ushered him out the door, where Mathew was waiting faithfully for his brother. "Williams, you will help him find his room, G4." he commanded. "Yes sir." Matt complied, and away they went.

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**AN: This chapter is mostly dialogue, but I promise there is plot that comes later. Any characters resembling historical figures are coincidence, because writing fiction about real people is not allowed on ff. So if you're asking, "That guy sounds like…" Well, I'll let you keep that for your imagination. Yay for thinly veiled references! I admit this chapter is somewhat boring, but It's just set up, please bear with me. Again, review and I will love you! I am thankful for how many people are already following this story, I was surprised! **

** Illead: I ardently hope so, but I don't know for sure. I think they still have them in some places. I heard about one in Mexico…**

**I think this fic is going to go in a dark direction…I was thinking Comedy, but these camps have committed such atrocities I don't think I can overlook that. Maybe I can make it both. What do you all think?**

**Also, I challenge somebody to write a fic about the possible Olympic boycott for Russia's anti-gay laws. How Russia is taking this, how he feels about it, etc… I can't really write for Russia. Can't get the character down. Too…Creepy…**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: All fired up to write a new chapter. GUESS WHAT! I just heard on the News, New Jersey has just signed a ban against gay conversion therapy on minors! Apparently, though, it's only the second one to do so after California, so let's hope this keeps going! The bill is about confronting the thought that people think being gay is a choice, So lawfully (at least in New Jersey) being gay IS NOT considered a choice, and nobody can MAKE anyone be straight, impossible as it is in the first place. The New Jersey Governor sided with the American Psychological Association stating "that so-called conversion therapy can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts and substance abuse in teenagers." I thought that this news was important to my story so I thought I'd share. However, this means that in 48 out of 50 states, "conversion therapy" is still allowable to use on minors. Sad but true. **

**Warnings: Language with a capital L, and severe Religious Themes. Don't flame me if you don't agree, I never said you have to agree with me. My characters, and me, are allowed our own thoughts and opinions and all I ask is that if you can't agree with them then please accept them as valid thoughts.**

**If Hetalia were mine, Canada would be more prominent figure because I love him.**

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Chapter 3

They Stopped at Matt's room first, since it was on the way. He lived in room G1. It was a relatively small space. Just enough room for a bed, a dresser, and a desk, A closet and another door to the bathroom. The younger explained that each room possessed its own bath room; Alfred imagined the reason was to avoid what he had experienced feeling in the gym locker room back home. The walls were a bland beige color, and the blankets and drapes were brown. All in all, it reminded Alfred of a cheap hotel room. There were few decorations, the exceptions being a hockey stick mounted on the wall, along with a Canadian flag. Mathew saw him eyeing the bareness of the room, and explained, "It's not much; they do a thorough job of screening our possessions on entering and confiscate anything they deem unfit, which extends to tasteful decorations, apparently. They also do surprise room searches for anything they think we shouldn't have, so heads up." Alfred flopped on his brother's bed while the younger sat politely in the hard desk chair.

"Why do you have a single room again? This doesn't seem fair, nobody to bug you here. Guess I'll have to visit a lot," he joked. "Yeah about that," Matt hinged, his cheeks pinkening, "Don't get mad, promise?" Alfred nodded, more curious than anything. His brother never did anything wrong at home, what could he get mad about? "Well, um… I should also tell you they have a camera in every bedroom… it probably says that in your rule packet…They don't always check it, I think, but when they did, they…um…_caught_ me and my last roommate." "Caught what?" Alfred was confused. "And what do you mean Cameras, Big Brother much?" Matt was beginning to look mortified. Alfred could tell he really didn't want to talk to him about… whatever this was about. "C'mon, Matt, don't be embarrassed, I'm sure I've caught you doing more embarrassing things before." Matt's eyes shot up at Alfred and they blushed, both remembering the night before Mathew was sent to this place. The younger sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose where his glasses sat, realizing the older was far too thick to realize what he was hinting at.

Then he sat up looked his brother straight in the eye and emphasized, "They _Caught_ us, Alfred." He watched his brother let that sink in, and waited for the light of understanding, which finally appeared. "DUDE!" Alfred shouted, appalled, "You and another guy…What…you put…or did he?...THE HELL, DUDE?!" Alfred scrambled off the bed to stand in front of his brother, towering over the boy. "It's none of your business!" Matt said quietly, but acidicly in his defense. If Alfred could think straight, he might have found Mathew as menacing, but at the moment, Big Brother Alfred was at peak rage mode. "The Hell it isn't! So what, you Fucked him?" Matt was actually getting a little scared now, backing down from his defiant streak, "No, it's not-" he started meekly, but Alfred interrupted, "Oh, God. You let him Fuck you?" Alfred was looking slightly sick. He had never thought about having to protect his brother's virginity before… He never thought something like this might happen. "No! It wasn't like-" Matt tried again. "Then what was it like, Mathew, what?!" Alfred looked like he was about to breathe fire.

Matt was on the verge of tears now, "Stop Yelling at Me!" he cried, bending over in his chair and covering his ears. Folded up into himself to make him even smaller, Mathew started to sob quietly. Alfred was brought up short. It wasn't the first time he'd seen his brother cry, but he always hated the sight. Having caused Mathew to be in this position, he made himself cool down. He tried to pat him on the shoulder, but Matt flinched away from him. He sighed before forcing his brother into his arms so Mathew's face was buried in his shoulder. They stayed that way until Matt calmed down.

"Now," Alfred said as calmly as he could, "Tell me what happened." Matt chanced to peek up at him over his glasses, still looking a bit scared. "I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't get mad, but Matt, how did you think I'd react? Just tell me what happened, I promise I won't blow up again." He comforted. "W-well," Mathew began quietly, "My roommate was really nice to me when I moved in, and really good-looking, too," he blushed, but continued, "and after a couple weeks we were kind of close, and he…k-kissed me…and…things went…a little further…"Matt hinged again, embarrassed to say. "And?" Alfred prompted. "H-hand may have gone places they shouldn't…" Matt was probably blushing again, but it was too hard to tell since his face was all puffy and pink from crying. "You probably think…" Matt sniffed, still not quite over crying it seemed, "What?" asked Alfred. "T-that I-I'm a wh-whore…" Matt refused to look up. He truly cared about what his brother thought of him, and had been ashamed that Alfred had taken his sexual preference so hard, but he knew he wasn't bad for it, and he just wished Alfred would see that.

Alfred wrapped his arms around his brother again, "Hey, hey, it's ok," he soothed, "You're not a whore. It's going to be all right. You're just confused right now. You don't know-" This had apparently been the wrong thing to say. Mathew snapped his face to meet his brother's in what was now a teary-eyed, puffy-faced pout. "No, Alfred. I'm _not_ confused. I know what I did, I know I liked it, and to be completely honest, I don't even think I'm sorry."Matt puffed out, trying to stand his ground, but praying that Alfred didn't get mad again. "How can you say that?" Alfred asked, "You know it's not right!" Alfred was keeping his head this time, not anxious to see his little brother cry again. "Why not?" Mathew asked. "Well, it's just wrong," was Alfred's brilliant answer. "How so?" Matt followed up. "It's…you're with another guy…" Alfred was getting confused, where was Mathew going with this? "And?" Matt smiled, just a tiny one. "That's…..wrong?" Alfred stated, but really it was more of a question. They had just gone in one confusing circle and he was already getting lost. "So you're saying It's wrong because it's wrong?" Mathew asked. "Well…I guess?" Alfred almost felt like he was losing this argument, but he didn't really know what else to say.

"Says who?" Another question. Alfred stumbled at this one for a second, before replying, "Says God." Mathew threw up his hands at this."Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that God had spoken directly to you to tell you this." Matt was getting his confidence back. "Well, no but.,," Alfred didn't know what to say anymore, but he sure wasn't going to change his mind. "So God said it, but he didn't tell you?" asked Mathew. "It's in the Bible!" Alfred chose the only response he could think of. "Did you know that the Bible also says not to eat pork, get tattoos or even just touch a woman who is on her period, and it tells you how you should buy and sell slaves?" Matt continued. "Well, yeah, but that doesn't-" Alfred was cut off. "If that doesn't count than why does this?" Alfred was speechless. He didn't know what to say next. Score one for Mathew.

"Mathew, are you saying you don't believe in God?" This worried Alfred more than anything. Mathew could still be forgiven and cured of his sin, but if he didn't believe in God… "I never said I didn't believe in God. I do, and as a matter of fact I believe that he created me to be this way and so I shouldn't be anything but what I am and what I was made to be." Alfred was relieved to hear his brother say this, but "Then why were you saying all that about the Bible?" "It's true; I was just stating a fact. Also, the Bible contradicts itself a lot. It was a story handed down from person to person for a long time before somebody eventually wrote it down. And even then, not all of the stories made it into the Bible. Who knows who wrote the stories, or if someone along the way made a few changes here and there. That doesn't mean I don't think it happened, just that not every sentence is factual. It's not written by God's hand, it was made by man, so it is fallible. That's just what I believe, but can you see where I'm coming from at least?"

"I don't know that I agree with you, but I suppose I can see where you're coming from. I don't want to talk about it anymore though." Alfred replied. This whole conversation was making him exhausted. It had given him a lot to think about, at the very least and he thought to himself, "I think I'm more confused than ever."

"Wait!" Alfred said, just noticing something. "Who was your roommate before? Is he your boyfriend now?" Mathew's answer was a little sheepish, but his earlier victory made him feel strong. "No, we agreed to be friends though… We just wanted different things. I want a long-term relationship, and he wanted a summer romance." "Yeah, but who was it?" Alfred asked, noting that Mathew hadn't completely answered what he asked.

"You met him earlier, actually…His name is…Francis."

"…"

"…"

"SonofaBitch!"

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**AN: Serious stuff, people. I'll say this once. I AM NOT TRASHING THE BIBLE. I'm also not forcing it down people's throats. Don't flame me if you think I'm wrong, you can simply say "I disagree with what you think, but we can still be friends" I'm sorry if I turned anybody off of this story… It is going to carry some Heavy subjects, but there'll Also be comedy and romance to look forward to. Also, a little Franada for you, But Only a Little Bit! Next Chapter: Alfred meets his roommate.**

**Please Review, I'd like to know if my writing is ok. I know my weak spot is description, but I think I do ok on Dialogue and plot… what do you all think?**


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